Canadian Circumcision

"Friday night, hit the East Village Pub,
Pint after pint, I’m feelin’ the love.
Hockey on the screen, I’m chirpin’ away,
Talkin’ too loud, think I’m here to stay."

"Shoulda quit drinking, but answered the call,
Stayed out too late, and I took the fall.
Now I’m frozen stiff, wishin’ I was dead,
Cursing the ice for stealin' my head."

"Oh no, froze, stuck to the snow,
Karma hit quick, now I’m feelin’ the blow.
Cocky in the cold, now I’m paying the price,
A frosty affair, a Canadian slice!"

"One too many, then I ran my mouth,
Buddy swung first, then it all went south.
Security grabbed me, tossed me out in the frost,
Flat on the ice, man, my dignity’s lost."

"Shoulda quit drinking, but answered the call,
Stayed out too late, and I took the fall.
Now I’m frozen stiff, wishin’ I was dead,
Cursing the ice for stealin' my head."

"Oh no,, stuck to the snow,
Karma hit quick, now I’m feelin’ the blow.
Cocky in the cold, now I’m paying the price,
A frosty affair, a Canadian slice!"

"Canadian circumcision,
Canadian circumcision!"

Try to stand up, but my junk’s locked tight,
Alberta ice got me stuck in the night.
Screamin’ for help, but the crowd just grinned,
Now I’m half the man that I’ve ever been."

"Shoulda quit drinking, but answered the call,
Stayed out too late, and I took the fall.
Now I’m frozen stiff, wishin’ I was dead,
Cursing the ice for stealin' my head."

"Oh no, stuck to the snow,
Karma hit quick, now I’m feelin’ the blow.
Cocky in the cold, now I’m paying the price,
A frosty affair, a Canadian slice!"

"Canadian circumcision,
Canadian circumcision!"

Inspiration

Thank you to the poor bastard this happened to and to TMZ for the inspiration for this song. You can read the two articles on TMZ here and here