Frozen Fart

Out in the sticks, where the moose roam free,
Minus forty, frost-bitten as can be.
No cell tower, no calls to make,
Just me and my sled on a frozen lake.
The cold cuts sharp like my hockey blades,
My cheeks turn red as the cold invades.

No Wi-Fi here, no CN Tower,
Just me and the woods and my Heavy Sour.
The air’s so crisp, it’s an icy art,
But nothing’s colder than a frozen fart.

Oh, it’s a Canadian thing, you know,
When the wind cuts deep, and the frost won’t go.
You let one rip, but it’s sharper than a dart,
Ain’t nothin’ like the sting of a frozen fart!
(Yeah, a frozen fart!)

Tried to warm my toes by the old campfire,
But my toque caught flames, now it’s gettin’ dire.
Grabbed a Molson, popped it with my teeth,
The beer froze solid; now it’s stuck underneath.
Tried to call for help, but there’s no signal here,
Guess I’ll just fart for warmth and eat my beer.

No Wi-Fi here, no CN Tower,
Just me and the woods and my Heavy Sour.
The snowdrifts whisper, the coyotes bark,
But the loudest echo’s my frozen fart.

Oh, it’s a Canadian thing, you know,
When the wind cuts deep, and the frost won’t go.
You let one rip, but it’s sharper than a dart,
Ain’t nothin’ like the sting of a frozen fart!
(Yeah, a frozen fart!)

Yo, out here in the wild, it's a true north freeze,
Even the beavers say, "Buddy, spare me, please!"
My parka’s stiff, my sled won’t start,
And I’m out here freezin’ my patriotic art.
Redneck roots, with a toque pulled tight,
We don’t hibernate; we just party all night.

Oh, it’s a Canadian thing, you know,
When the wind cuts deep, and the frost won’t go.
You let one rip, but it’s sharper than a dart,
Ain’t nothin’ like the sting of a frozen fart!
(Yeah, a frozen fart)

The tundra’s quiet, the stars burn bright,
Survived the cold, on a frosty night.
No need for a signal, no need for a spark,
Just me in the wild, and a frozen fart.